Lights of Love

Adrian spent his life caring for others. A fit and active man, he ran half marathons and regularly took part in fundraising walks and runs, including the Foyle Hospice Male Walk/Run. He spent more than 30 years as a technology adviser at St Breccan’s School before retiring and becoming a full-time community care worker.

Having cared for his own father and mother, it was a role that came naturally to him. Warm-hearted and chatty, he loved making people smile and would often stop to talk to patients, sometimes breaking into song.

In January 2025, a routine dental appointment led to a diagnosis of squamous cell carcinoma. Initially, the family were given a good prognosis, but scans soon revealed that the cancer had grown significantly.

On 1 April, Adrian underwent a 17-and-a-half-hour operation to remove and reconstruct the right side of his jaw. His family were told he would probably be sedated for several days. Instead, he was awake the following day and walking the day after that. Unable to speak, he reassured them with his trademark thumbs-up.

The months that followed brought serious infections, hospital admissions and the death of his mother. Supported by his family and his faith, Adrian continued to face each setback with determination. On 1 June, he and Michele celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary with a small family gathering.

Later that month, tests revealed another growth, and the family were told that treatment would be palliative.

Lauren learned how to care for Adrian’s tracheotomy and PEG line so that he could return home. But he was in terrible pain and could not get comfortable. That was when Foyle Hospice stepped in.

The family were frightened, but within days of his admission, Adrian’s pain was under control. Lauren remembers the difference it made: “He was back to his old self, talking and singing.”

The family were able to enjoy outings together again, walking along the quay, visiting Swan Park in Buncrana and going to the beach. Adrian also loved spending time in the hospice gardens.

During his stay, Lauren’s partner Patrick visited the hospice to ask Adrian for his blessing to marry her. Adrian was over the moon. The couple knew they wanted him there, and he was determined to walk his daughter down the aisle.

On 29 August, he did exactly that.

After the ceremony, the family planned to return briefly to the hospice for Adrian’s medication before going to the reception. The hospice team had prepared a surprise: the front room had been transformed, with music and champagne ready to toast the newlyweds.

Surrounded by the people who had cared for him, Adrian shared a father-daughter dance with Lauren. Afterwards, they took photographs together in the hospice gardens.

In the weeks that followed, Adrian continued to make the most of precious time with his family. He went home for Michele’s birthday, watched films with his granddaughter and enjoyed music and sports with his sons.

On 19 September 2025, Adrian died peacefully with his family by his side.

For the Sharkey family, the memories of Adrian’s time at Foyle Hospice include walks in the gardens, films with his granddaughter, music with his sons and a wedding day made even more special by an unexpected father-daughter dance.

“It truly was our home from home,” Lauren says. “Hospice was part of our family, it meant the world to daddy and meant the world to us.”

When the family switches on the Lights of Love tree this December, they will remember Adrian as he was: warm-hearted, singing, smiling and offering that familiar thumbs-up, even when words were difficult.